At first glance, Hank & Mitzis looks like your neighborhood Italian spot—warm, inviting, wood-fired aromas drifting from the oven. But look closer, and you’ll spot a brilliantly coded dining system hidden in its daypart menus, happy hour math, and weekend-only dishes. In 2025, the restaurant isn’t just serving pasta—it’s teaching D.C. how to eat smarter, not harder. Here’s the playbook real regulars follow.
🕒 Rule #1: Never Pay Dinner Prices for Lunch Dishes
Same kitchen. Same recipes. Different clocks, different costs.
- Fettuccine Bolognese: $14 at lunch (Tue–Fri), $18 at dinner
- Spaghetti & Meatballs: $14 lunch, $17 dinner
- The Hank Pizza: $14 lunch, $17 dinner
If you can swing a midweek lunch, you’re getting identical quality for 20–25% less. The secret? Show up before 3 PM.
🍖 Rule #2: Happy Hour Is a Full Italian Feast for Under $15
Tue–Fri, 4–6 PM, dine-in only—and it’s not just snacks:
- Hank’s Meatballs: $0.99 each (yes, seriously)
- Fried Calamari with arrabbiata: $6
- Pizza Margherita OR Bianca: $7
- House wine or Stella Artois: $6
Grab 3 meatballs + calamari + pizza + drink = ~$16. That’s cheaper than most delivery apps—and infinitely better.
🧀 Rule #3: Brunch = Italian Innovation Hour (And It Disappears Mondays)
Only on Saturdays & Sundays, 12–4 PM, you’ll find:
- Pizza al Uovo ($18): black truffle fonduta + poached egg + asparagus
- Brunch Calzone ($16): ricotta, prosciutto cotto, Parmesan hollandaise
- Maritozzi con Panna ($10): Nutella-drizzled cream bun
- Lamb Ossobuco ($28)—$4 cheaper than dinner
Even Linguine with Clams drops to $17 (vs. $21 at dinner). These dishes don’t exist the rest of the week—so if you want them, weekends are non-negotiable.
🧺 Rule #4: The $50 TOCK Feast Is D.C.’s Best-Kept Group Hack
Order in advance via TOCK, and for $50, feed four:
- Caesar Salad for 4
- 2 Pastas: Choose from Bolognese, Lasagna, Spaghetti & Meatballs, Cacio Pepe, or Mafalde
- 2 Pizzas: The Mitzi, The Hank, Veggie, or Cheese & Pepperoni
That’s $12.50 per person for a full-course Italian dinner—restaurant-made, heat-and-eat at home. No delivery fee. No markup. Just value.
🍝 Rule #5: Gluten-Free? You’re Treated Like Royalty
All pastas are made in-house daily—and gluten-free pasta is available for any dish at $0 extra.
- Bolognese? ✅
- Cacio Pepe? ✅
- Shrimp Fra Diavolo? ✅
In an industry where GF often means “pay more,” Hank & Mitzis says: “You belong here.”
🍸 Rule #6: Cocktails Are Designed for Two—Even When You’re Alone
Every cocktail—from the Italian Mule ($12) to “You Broke My Heart, Roberto Baggio” ($14)—is sold to-go as double servings for 2x price.
- Want one? Freeze half.
- Hosting? Share with ease.
- Feeling dramatic? Drink it all. We won’t judge.
🍷 Rule #7: The Wine List Has a Hidden Ladder
Start light:
- House Prosecco (draft): $8
- Nero d’Avola (glass): $9
Ready to climb?
- Barolo Broccardo 2016: $105
- Brunello La Togata 2013: $119
It’s rare to see such accessible entry points and serious cellar depth in one list—especially at a neighborhood joint.
Hank & Mitzis isn’t playing the Italian restaurant game—it’s rewriting the rules. With timed pricing, disappearing dishes, and a happy hour that laughs in the face of inflation, it proves that great food doesn’t have to cost a fortune if you know when to walk in.
Ready to eat like you’re in the know?
See the full menu and lock in your TOCK feast at https://www.hankandmitzis.com/menus/.